Relationships and Crap

I can't say we've mastered the art of long distance relationships, but we seem to be mostly settled into our situation. Communication is key, of course, such a cliche, but there it is. And much of our communication is mundane, but by unspoken agreement, we're in the habit of trying to provide the simple things for eachother. A goodnight call. An I'm-thinking-of-you text. Making note of something funny to tell the other person. I try not to weight down our few moments on the phone with nagging demands, bad news, additions to his to-do list; but focus on how his day is going, his mood, what he's concerned about, and try to mention something for him to look forward to.

I tend to call R after work on my way home--a phone call that lasts 30 seconds at most and lists my intended schedule for the evening, and reminds him of my ardor. Since I'm on my own usually, if I ever happen to disappear off the face of the earth, he'll know where to look (uh, once he's noticed I'm missing... which might be awhile). He doesn't always pick up on that phone call, but at least it serves as a time stamp of when I'm leaving work. Since he knows what I need to say, it's actually not necessary he picks up.

In fact, if he doesn't pick up, I usually don't call again. Not even in 5 or 10 minutes. If I call twice, it means I have something important to discuss with him. If I call three times, it means I must speak to him right now.

Often one of us tries to touch base with the other on the phone around lunch time--especially if someone finds themselves in a vehicle. R is often done with his round of e-mails, phone calls, and parts runs, and he has in his head his plan for the day. He's not an early bird, more of a night owl, so having the morning hours to organize himself allows means he can work late into the night, but it means that his arrival at whatever boat he's focused on often coincides with my lunchtime.

Today's conversation is par for the course. He tells me where/on which boat he's planning to work for the day, and what he hopes to accomplish. Today it's a project on a commercial vessel, adding a head, including the requisite sanitation tankage, associated piping, thru-hulls, deck plates, and relevant accessories.

Trying to be an involved listener, I cheerfully ask which head he has spec'd out. A Tecma (same brand as we chose for our boat, using some of the wedding present cash we were given--what else would we have spent it on!). He tells me specifically which model as the head compartment is constrained (they always are...). I note that a significant positive effect of this choice is not fussing with rebuild kits, and he explains that yes, instead of the usual impeller like many heads have, this is more of a centrifugal pump type system. I've met enough heads and used enough of them to know what I like in a head, so it's a good topic.

I note a recent article in a known sailing magazine which did some research on sanitation hose. He explains which hose he chose for this particular project application and why. I am imagining thru-hulls and the installation as a whole, from the brackets holding the tank to the hoses leading to the deck plates. From there, the discussion turns to the destructive nature of... well, Shit, and it's longterm effects on steel, specifically stainless, including 304 stainless tanks.

At this point, the phone conversation comes to an abrupt end as a vendor calls him. "Okayloveyoubye." "Yep."

But I hang up feeling both Cherished and decidedly Normal: doesn't every couple talk on the phone about random shit?